I went for an amazing trail run last Sunday in the hills of Heidelberg. I say run. Really, I walk up the hills and I jog down them squealing weeeeeeee. It feels pretty epic, but it wouldn’t register as such to anyone except me. 

I am by all accounts an extremely mediocre runner, probably even less than that to be honest. I am not the slowest (depends who I am with) but I will never, ever be fast. I am built for comfort (eating) not speed. 

After quite a few years of battling with the disappointment that I will never be an exceptional runner, I have over time embraced the concept of being just, ok. I run to keep my head straight, to experience a runner’s high (available for all levels of ability), to be outside under the sky, to enjoy the sights, sounds and smells of running in the woods, to spend time with friends, to spend time alone, and to spend time not working and to allow thoughts to come and go. It’s actually really, really fulfilling to be ‘not that special’ at running because the concept of speed and ability becomes a very small component in the equation. In my version of running, I am a warrior and the world is my arena.

During the drive home from my epic run last Sunday, I had already drafted up in my head what was clearly going to be a viral post that would inspire others to embrace not being an olympian and just enjoy the damn run. I went home from my run on cloud-bloody-nine.

An hour later after this epic, glorious, life-affirming run, I had my head in my hands weeping over my porridge. I had made the silly, rookie error of uploading my run to strava (a geeky stats tracking site for sports) and then… started looking at the splits (average speed per km) of all the other runners on my feed and I was instantly devastated. I felt like the crappiest runner in the world and that I was never ever going to enjoy another run again. I literally snatched the joy from my morning run and crushed my soul with comparison. I don’t know why I did this to myself.

I am usually pretty good at avoiding comparison in all areas of life and business. I am mindful of other marketing consultants of course, but never really view them as ‘competition’ because I am me and I only I can do what I do with my particular panache (cough, cough). Social media is a pretty awful place for making us all feel inadequate and forcing comparisons upon us. But generally speaking I feel quite aware of this possibility so have my guard up. I’m careful to remind myself always that filters, dietitians, trainers and make-up artists are deployed as the weapons of mass manipulation. I feel kinda comfortable in this space because I know the fakeness is exactly that, not real.

Yet the strava incident has shown me that I had not really considered other aspects of comparison that had been sneaking its way into my life in a stealth-like fashion. Masquerading as a stats tool it really is just another way to measure yourself against someone else. Ironically, I don’t use it all that often anyway, preferring to run ‘naked’ (geeky runners phrase meaning 'without any tech'). I have now deleted strava from my phone.

The Contagion of Comparisonitis

I know from speaking with many small business owners and entrepreneurs that looking at the supposed success of others and comparing yourself against them is a devastating activity. Yet it’s something that happens a lot, especially if feeling a little vulnerable. But it’s so blooming fruitless. We have no idea what is really going on behind the filtered flat lay of a supposed high-flying entrepreneur. A fancy instagram account does not make a successful business. Expensive holidays and swimming pool retreats are often paid for by a credit card. People that are really successful tend to be modest and quietly determined, focusing on serving their customers and giving amazing service, not playing in the theatre of publicity.

As I discovered last week, it’s easy to accidentally fall into this trap and it’s devastating. Learn from my error; stay focused on your achievements and stay on your path. You are amazing at what you do and no one else can do it like you.

That is epic.