Fighting the Fear
What are you really afraid of?
I’m afraid of heights. Actually, I’m not afraid of heights. I’m afraid of ledges. Like proper vertigo - head spinning, knees weak, limbs uncontrollable and a sick feeling in my stomach. This is tricky because I like to ski, but occasionally there is a situation where I find myself getting off a ski lift at the top of an unfamiliar mountain and there is a ledge with an extreme vertical drop or poor weather conditions so I cannot see and that’s it, I’m ruined. Vertigo will kick in and my only choice is survival; a terrifying, tortuous and tearful slow descent through the danger zone until I can reach a point of safety - either a slope with a nice goldfish bowl sides or clear weather and familiar territory.
Whilst this doesn’t happen often, it happened to me last year. The mountain was not especially difficult, but the weather conditions deteriorated by the time we got off the lift and I didn’t know the mountain at all. The fog was so thick, all I could see where signs in front of my hand warning about “Ledge - Danger to Life”. Brilliant. I was already crying before the lift stopped. I knew it was going to be horrific. And it was. I was a wreck on skis.
The only thing I knew was standing still was NOT an option. I HAD to move forward, I had to take action to save myself and ensure the rest of my group were not put at risk because of my melt down. It took 40 minutes to ski/step/slide down that mountain until we passed the thick cloud and reached a point of clear weather and wide slopes. And then like magic, my vertigo and fear left my mind and body in a snap. Aside from residual adrenalin, I was all good. The next day, which was sunny I went straight up that mountain and skied down that run from top to bottom without stopping. Three times.
You see, everything is terrifying until you've done it and I think that is just as applicable when it comes to our businesses.
Four Big Fears and How to Overcome Them
Here are four things I think we are all afraid of, and what we can do about it...
1. Fear of Failure
We’re all afraid of failing. But failing quietly and without consequences is not really a big deal is it? It’s failing in front of a crowd is just terrifying. But failure isn’t really a zero sum equation. It’s a part of the process of success.
Did you know that is how most really successful comedians great amazing sell-out shows? They take themselves off to smaller comedy clubs and shows with their notebooks and test out jokes. If the joke falls flat on the audience they either ditch it or tweak it and try it again somewhere else. They aren’t failing, they are workshopping and testing their material. The good stuff makes it to the live shows. Can you try to see your efforts in this light? Test/fail quickly, tweak/fail better, tweak/fail less, tweak/succeed, tweak/succeed better, tweak/optimize! It’s a squiggly line process, not a straight line but if you don’t make a start then you never begin the process.
2. Fear of Looking Foolish
Are you afraid of looking foolish? I am. Massively. My good friend and epic life coach, Michelle Thole, calls this ego-fear. And she’s right. It’s more about our own relationship with our perceived persona than how anyone else actually sees us. No one cares as much as we do. Mostly, people don’t even notice. Gulp. That’s hard to take isn’t it?
Remember 99% of the time no one else knows what is going on behind the scenes of your business. I’m not suggesting you are dishonest with anyone, but you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why something you launched might have quietly closed or changed.
So let’s reframe the environment: You are now a scientist conducting live experiments and expect mixed results. So start experimenting without the burden of fear of looking foolish. Don’t plan to succeed or fail. Plan to experiment - nothing more. It’s a small, but very strategic difference and means you don’t need to fear feeling foolish.
3. Fear of Damaged Reputation
Ok, this is possible. But how big is your brand really? Do you honestly have an audience of hundreds of thousands that will delight at your failure? Probably not. That’s why now, when you are small, is exactly the right time to try stuff out.
Have you not seen some really big brands make some errors of judgement and bounce back? Yes. Many times. Listen, we’re human. And it’s ok to make human mistakes. What matters is that you own them, apologise and move on. Unless you are a live-saving surgeon, your mistakes will not cost lives. So, keep a sensible perspective at all times and remember fortune favours the brave.
4. Fear of Financial Ruin
This is a valid and genuine fear. If you have worked with me in any way you will know that I never advocate spending money you don’t have or can’t afford to lose. Investing in yourself does not mean breaking the bank because that brings about a whole new level of desperation which drives poor decision making.s.
Mitigate the financial risk with a bootstrap launch - do everything on a shoestring until you figure out what works. Then slowly invest at a level you can sustain and matches your income - set goals for reaching these milestones. Don’t go rushing out to buy high-end coaching, a flashy website or rebrand your business. That is honestly just expensive procrastination; mental roadblocks to stop you doing what you should be doing but are too afraid to!
No one is buying from you because you have the shiniest logo or the best website. Your product or service should be the best it can be at this point on your budget - mostly, people are investing in you. So give them your best - this is your most priceless asset and forget about everything else until you have the dosh.
Go Forth and Be Brave
Remember, everything you want is on the other side of your fear but it doesn’t mean you have to be a superhero to get there. Manage the fear in a way that allows you to be afraid but do it anyway. That is the definition of brave.
I won’t pretend I am not just as fearful as you are. There are dozens of things that I am too scared to do because of all of the reasons above. But how about we face our fears together?
Take a deep breath and email me. Tell me what you have been too afraid to try in your business and let’s see how we can mitigate the downside to make you feel brave enough to try and test it.
I believe in you!